Why Did The Asian Baby Sumo Wrestle A French Poodle?

I wish they would let me post the video. For some time now I’ve been trying to teach The Dude’s Asian Baby (19 months) to distain the French. The other day in the park a poodle came sniffing around, leashed to this seventy-some year old lady. I pointed and whispered, “French,” hoping Asian Baby would put on her distain face, the way she was taught. Instead she freaked out, and, wearing nothing but a diaper and an ounce of pluck, she screamed and charged and body slammed that poodle, pinning its face to the ground with her chubby little belly. For The Dude and I, hilarity ensued. But Hot Wife and Profane Old Lady refused to enjoy the sporting event, and broke it apart. As The Dude walked me away from the arena he decided that if Wrinkled Old Lady had stroked and died, I would have been charged with involuntary old-lady-slaughter, which would increase book sales, so then I would owe Asian Baby a beer, which she and The Dude might share. I replied, with empathy, that it’s too bad she lived.