Stephen King Diagnosed With Accute Adverb Paranoia

Via Publisher's Weekly

Said Stephen King, “Hitler invented the adverb. Because he had a teeny weenie, that hot nazi women wouldn’t suck on. Because he had small balls, that manly men laughed at. But once he learned how, to modify a weak verb, he became utterely unstopable. But his adverb addiction drove him mad, and caused his lame-ass suicide. Which is how the espression developed... ‘Hitler died pathetically.’ But the nazis kept the adverb alive, and now, today, no one is even remotely safe. Which makes writing the world’s most dangerous profession.”